Zoey Monster Disorder, ZMD

Zoey has a serious disease. Its called the Monster Disorder. If left alone for long enough, which can be as short as 10 minutes, Zoey suddenly turns into a little monster, sneaking around the house, getting into things and creating major disasters. Here is the proof I have gathered for my medical diagnosis...

Evidence #1:

Zoey discovered a bottle of nail polish in my puse, decided she was going to paint her nails, which ended up being her entire fingers on both hands, and then twirled in a circle, sprinkling "fairy magic" on the carpet. Thats when I walked in, delighted at her creativity, for sure. Yeah, right!

I ended up spending three hours laying on my tummy on the floor, cutting each individual strand of caret with a pair of small hair trimmers. My fingers had permanent scissor indentations on them for days afterward.

Evidence #2:

That same morning, Zoey decided that she was thirsty and tried to pour herself a cup of grape juice. I didn't notice it until a few hours later, at which time, the grape juice had started to ferment, causing the entire kitchen to smell like a wine vineyard and had begun to stain the tile grout black.

Here is the little culprit standing and posing for Mommy.

Evidence #3:

Also, that same morning, as Zoey loves to go and pick out her own cartoons from the library, for some reason, she also loves pulling off the sticker that reads, property of the Las Vegas Library, making it so that the DVD gets stuck inside of the player. This is actually the second time she has done this and only Brian knows how to get them out.

Here is the player stuck open with no DVD to be seen.

Evidence #4:

Today, I woke up after Zoey; my big mistake! This is, by far, the worst mess she has ever made, (tying a close race with the time she took a green dry erase marker to her entire room, marking up her crib, dresser, sheets, walls and rocking chair. I have no pictures of it because I was so shocked and devistated at the time at sight of her "art work" that I went straight to cleaning it up. Luckily, I was able to remove the marker with a little help from clorox bleach scrub and water.) However, as you will see below, this is a photo of our office floor, which is now covered in a lovely shade of bright, blood red acrylic paint! Brian says that it looks like someone was murdered in there and unfortunatly, after calling 2 carpet cleaners, I was told there is no hope of ever fixing this one.

Brian said, "At least we are moving in a few months."

Evidence #5:

Lastly, we found Zoey, who was supposed to be playing outside, eating her popsicle and blowing buubles, inside of our fire pit in the back yard! (Don't even ask me how she managed to get inside and close the lid after herself!)

Here is what she had to say about it...

Thus ends Dr. Mom's theory of my child's crazed behavior, ZMD and also explains what I am now refering to as my "Mommy Maddness"!