The Terrible Twos!

Zoey is such a typical 'terrible two' year old! Let me tell you all a little about her new antics. When she is mad at me, my new name is "Mommy booty butt". If she doesn't like something, she says "Its poop poo and pee pe". When she doesn't like what Bri and I are telling her when she is in trouble, she screams, "Shut your mouth hole!" as she is slaming the door shut on us. Her other retort is to call us both "buttheads". She also tells me that she "hates" things, that I am "stupid" and loves to say, "What the heck in the world?". Now, I know she is getting "what the heck is that/" from me but, all the rest I believe that she is learning from the other kids at babysitting and maybe from kids at the park because Brian and I never say those other words. In fact, we are even careful never to say the word "hate" in our home. It is so frustrating to work hard to do everything right at home and then, know your kids are going to pick up bad habits and sayings from other people. When she is mad in church and wants to run away or climb under the pew, she screams "You're bad Mommy!" and smacks my glasses off my face and then, proceeds to attack me with octopus arms and legs flying everywhere, struggling to get free. She also throws her crayons, toys and sippie cup over the two rows in front of us, which luckly, are empty because we sit right behind where the sacrament boys sit. When its time to get ready in the morning, she refuses to coroperate, hiding from me under the bed, undressing herself or messing her hair up and my nicely made bed by hiding under the covers. She still goes "poopy" in her pants on purpose and then, tells me I need to change her "right now!" She orders me around telling me what she wants and how she wants it and growls at me if I don't comply. She opens up the fridge herself and tries climbing up the shelves. From her highchair, she throws her food on the floor and if I dont clean up her tray up fast enough, she dumps her milk out right as I am reaching for it with an impy little grin on her face. She makes messes with toys and books all over the floor and then, refuses to help me clean it up. She throws toys over the railing of the stairs or rolls them down the staircase. She uses her chair to climb up onto counters and trys to brush her teeth and get herself bandaids for her 'boo boos', making big water and toothpaste messes and leaving bandaid wrappers all over the counter. When it is bath time, she plays 'tea party' and dumps cup fulls of water over the side of the tub and onto the floor before I can catch her or runs, wet and naked, through the house getting all the carpet wet. When it is time to get in the car, she tries running and hiding behind the air conditioning unit in the back yard where I freak out looking for her and have even run all the way to the park up the street the first time because I didn't know where she had run off to. Once I get her back to the car, she hops over her car seat and hides on the other side of the car where I can't reach her. When we are driving, she throws things at me and takes her arms out of her seat belt straps. By the time I drop her off at the babysitters or her Grandparents, I am so exausted and relieved to be 'getting away' by going to work or school that I could jump for joy! Yet, I still love that little stinkerpot and since she is turning three this month, I expect to see perfect obedient behavior beggining to emerge. That happens, Right Mom?